The tally

One of the many animals we've seen on our anti-safari. Mr. Chameleon crawled up my leg as I was putting up the tent.

Day 28. Livingstone, Zambia. Our trip by the numbers so far.

Miles traveled: 2,450

Countries visited: 3

Miles logged on anything other than local transport: 0

Modes of transport: Bus, death-trap mini-bus, shared taxi, motorcycle, ferry

Angry bus church sermons: 1

Days at sea: 3

Nights in the tent: 8

Nights with air-conditioning: 1

Days on safari: 0

Members of the Big 5 spotted: 2

Wild animals spotted: elephants (3 herds), cape buffalo (1 herd), giraffes, warthogs, impala, baboons, vervet monkeys, one overly friendly chameleon, and countless incredible birds, including the African fish eagle and lilac-breasted roller.

Robberies: 1

Scams attempted: 1

Scams thwarted: 1

Bribes solicited: 1

Bribes paid: 0

Arrests: 0

Cell phones lost/broken: 2

Bug bites: lost count

Times I have violated Aunt Goldie’s plea to avoid street food: more than I care to tell Goldie

Serious intestinal problems: incredibly, 0